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my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling on august 2nd, man will be sentenced to an eternity of licking our own pet's genital, because what would we really do? let them dry out? of course not. [laughter] so hopefully our president, barack obama, can in one swift rooseveltian "we have nothing to fear but fear itself" moment ease the american psychoi can. >> can you tell the folks at home that no matter what happens the social security checks will go out on august 3rd. >> i cannot guarantee that those checks go out on august 3rd if we haven't resolved this issue because there may simply not be the money in the coffer
my name is jon stewart. we have a very special show, very special guest tonight. medal of honor recipient sergeant first class leroy petry will be joining us on the program tonight. we're honored. we begin tonight, of course, with the looming crisis. as you know, on august 2nd, if america fails to raise the debt ceiling, we default on our debt. people lose the capacity to love. [laughter] and animals lose the capacity to lick their own genitals. that's right. if we don't raise the debt ceiling...
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Jul 29, 2011
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is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the house urged republicans to unite behind boehner's plan by showing this clip from the movie "the town" >> the town? (laughter) "the town", no rudy-- "rudy" "brian song" or "300" or "rocky" or "rocky 2" or "rocky 3" or really any of the "rockies" you went with the boston bank rubbers in nun costumes clip. >> well, there is going to be good. (laughter) let's see the clip-- (cheers and applause) >> that the republicans used, let's see the clip that the republicans used to urge their hard line tea party freshman coalition to drop their ob
is jon stewart, man! do we have a good show for you tonight. tonight's guest peter tomsen, author of a new book "the wars of afghanistan" that's right, plural, wars. as you know, debt ceiling discussions, coming down to the wire. political leaders on both sides pulling out all the stops. all the stops. like the kind of stops that high school football coaches use before homecoming games in particular at thiscious small towns. >> kevin mccarthy a third ranking republican in the...
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zain, you definitely captured the essence of me better than jon stewart did. always a pleasure to see you as always. zain verjee in london. there is a bit of a resemblance to an egg, i have to say. >>> a new way to tell if somebody under the influence of drugs. a fingerprint. a british company developed a devise that analyzes the sweat pours in fingertips. the news was announced at a conference last week. no word when it will be used at a traffic stop near you. >>> you know all the invisible radio waves around it, researchers captured that electromagnetic energy. they store it, builds up to power, things like sensors or micro processors. that's neat and scary at the same time. time for the businessman's special. dirty hotels. we have the dirtiest hotels from trip adviser up next. it's 26 after the hour. that's gross. with roc®retinol and antioxidants. lines, wrinkles, and sun damage will fade. roc multi-correxion. correct what ages you. roc multi-correxion. somewhere in america, a city comes to life. it moves effortlessly, breathes easily. it flows with clean
zain, you definitely captured the essence of me better than jon stewart did. always a pleasure to see you as always. zain verjee in london. there is a bit of a resemblance to an egg, i have to say. >>> a new way to tell if somebody under the influence of drugs. a fingerprint. a british company developed a devise that analyzes the sweat pours in fingertips. the news was announced at a conference last week. no word when it will be used at a traffic stop near you. >>> you know...
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my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2 catastrophic ultimatum we've already moved twice. (laughter) and so it was under these conditions that president barack obama interrupted a bachelorette's search for love... (laughter). ... to take that long walk down "we killed bin laden" lane. >> tonight i want to talk about the debate we've been having in washington over the national debt. >> jon: the debate we've been having? (laughter) is that what that noise out of washington's been? it sounded like an a elephant seal trying to (bleep) a truck! (laughter) actually, that footage is from a few years ago. the two of them are ver
my name is jon stewart. good show tonight! we got a nice one for you tonight. our guest tonight, npr's juan williams will be joining us. (cheers and applause) really? he's not there anymore? (laughter) well, i'll definitely ask him about that. (laughter) but we begin, of course, with our ongoing national crisis. (laughter and applause) one week, ladies and gentlemen, for our two parties to agree to raise the country's arbitrary debt limit for the 102nd time for the drop-dead august 2...
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Jul 20, 2011
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last night by the way on "the daily show," jon stewart giving us his own take. take a look. >> the whole day of testimony was amazing. but perhaps no moment more remarkable than murdoch interrupting his son's opening statement. >> of the newspaper -- >> before you get to that, i'd just like to say one sentence. this is the most humble day of my life. >> not so humble you couldn't wait for your turn to talk. by the way, that was before some idiot tried to pie murdoch. the young woman in pink whose lightning reflex and devastating chuck norrisesque hand speed subdues him. that woman is rupert murdoch's wife, wendy. now, i'm not a big proponent of the four decade marriage age gap. but if ever there was a situation where it would pay dividends, it would be an ambush like that. of course the attack occurred after a period of the testimony where murdoch may have appeared somewhat vulnerable. asleep. what? what happened? >>> still ahead, why are you awake? your texts, e-mails, coming up next. morning joe moments away. you know when something's bad -- but you do it anyw
last night by the way on "the daily show," jon stewart giving us his own take. take a look. >> the whole day of testimony was amazing. but perhaps no moment more remarkable than murdoch interrupting his son's opening statement. >> of the newspaper -- >> before you get to that, i'd just like to say one sentence. this is the most humble day of my life. >> not so humble you couldn't wait for your turn to talk. by the way, that was before some idiot tried to pie...
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Jul 29, 2011
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jon stewart picked up on all of it with chuck schumer. >> the democratic response to the republicans use of that clip from the movie the town did lead to one of my favorite recent moments on cable news. i give you chuck schumer's movie break down show. >> in the scene, they chose to inspire their house freshmen, one of the crooks gives a pep talk to the other right before they both put on hockey masks, bludgeon two men with sticks, and shoot a man in the leg. >> join us next week when i, chuck assume, revishu schumer, i classic the star wars. in this film, a large asthmatic man dressed in black plastic cuts the arm off of a boy wearing pajamas with some type of a glow stick. and here's the part you won't believe. the man in the suit is the boy's father. >> pretty good summary. still ahead on "way too early," why are you awake? tweets, texts and e-mails are next. emily's just starting out... and on a budget. like a ramen noodle- every-night budget. she thought allstate car insurance was out of her reach. until she heard about the value plan. and saving money with allstate doesn't stop
jon stewart picked up on all of it with chuck schumer. >> the democratic response to the republicans use of that clip from the movie the town did lead to one of my favorite recent moments on cable news. i give you chuck schumer's movie break down show. >> in the scene, they chose to inspire their house freshmen, one of the crooks gives a pep talk to the other right before they both put on hockey masks, bludgeon two men with sticks, and shoot a man in the leg. >> join us next...
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jon stewart, here's jon stewart at the grammys or emmys or whatever they give for television. i don't know because i'll never win one, but here he is with his writers. he's got 15 writers for this segment. i believe he's had as many as 40 writers. he uses these writers for six minutes of television and a total of 22 minutes a night. whoa. i want to bring in my writers, bring them all in because we have never seen them. can you bring them? bring them in. oh, here they are. dan and pat. hi, dan. hi, pat. see. its easy to speak from the heart. its easy to do things when you actually believe them. we've done it with a remarkably small and dedicated staff and remarkably large and dedicated audience and we thank you for that. >> glenn: my whole world has changed because of the time we spend together every day at 5:00, this is the last program. i want to show you little things that because we've met, things change. holding money. if i -- i wouldn't have said this two and a half years ago. i look at this one, ben franklin. abolitionists. willing to go looking crazy, go to his grave lo
jon stewart, here's jon stewart at the grammys or emmys or whatever they give for television. i don't know because i'll never win one, but here he is with his writers. he's got 15 writers for this segment. i believe he's had as many as 40 writers. he uses these writers for six minutes of television and a total of 22 minutes a night. whoa. i want to bring in my writers, bring them all in because we have never seen them. can you bring them? bring them in. oh, here they are. dan and pat. hi, dan....
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stewart now has the bull's eye on his back. >> jon stewart says he is both liberal and fair. is he really? >> did jon stewart mock republican presidential candidate herman cane because he's a black man? >> he gets away with one sided attacks. are. >> jon stewart needs a lessen on truth telling. >> kerimen -- herman cain says that he was mocking him. >> i guess everyone got the
stewart now has the bull's eye on his back. >> jon stewart says he is both liberal and fair. is he really? >> did jon stewart mock republican presidential candidate herman cane because he's a black man? >> he gets away with one sided attacks. are. >> jon stewart needs a lessen on truth telling. >> kerimen -- herman cain says that he was mocking him. >> i guess everyone got the
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. >> what is jon stewart talking about and why did stephen colbert interrupt one of my broadcasts. >> i'm in the middle of a broadcast. >> who isn't, sanjay. >> i'll explain that and more in the news right now. >> good evening, i'm don lemon. u.s. senators are on the job. the high stakes standoff over raising the nation's debt ceiling has lawmakers working this very hour. as of now, they don't agree with they're making any progress. tonight cnn has learned that mitch mcconnell is in direct contact with the white house and democratic leaders in congress met face to face with the president late this afternoon. but just a short time ago on the senate floor, senator harry reid insisted that claims a deal could be near are simply not true. >> today the speaker republican leader held a press conference to announce they're in talks with the president and that a bargain to raise the debt ceiling is in the works and is close. mr. president, members of the senate, that's not true. >> i just spent two hours with the president and vice president and leader pelosi. and it's fair for me to say that
. >> what is jon stewart talking about and why did stephen colbert interrupt one of my broadcasts. >> i'm in the middle of a broadcast. >> who isn't, sanjay. >> i'll explain that and more in the news right now. >> good evening, i'm don lemon. u.s. senators are on the job. the high stakes standoff over raising the nation's debt ceiling has lawmakers working this very hour. as of now, they don't agree with they're making any progress. tonight cnn has learned that...
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. >> tonight i am going to tell you that jon stewart, because of what he did, is a racist. i don't believe that, but i'm going to tellcaptioning sponsory comedy central >> stephen: tonight the fcc rules about whether i can talk about my pac on the air. spoilary all right, i'm talking about my pac on the air. then, can we trust pakistan to find out i'll close my eyes and fall into their arms. (laughter) >> stephen: and my guest timothy garton ash believes reporting the facts can change the course of history. then again, so can wikipedia. a french couple has adopted a 265 pound gor la. and in tomorrow's news, a french couple is malled by newly orphanned gor la. this is "the colbert report." captioning sponsored by comedy central ( theme song playing ) ( cheers and applause ) >> stephen: welcome to the report, everybody! thank you for joining us. thank you, everybody. stephen, stephen, stephen! stephen, stephen, stephen! >> stephen: beautiful, thank you so much, everybody. you're too kind. (cheers and applause) >> stephen: folks, thank you, thank you here, up there, i want to
. >> tonight i am going to tell you that jon stewart, because of what he did, is a racist. i don't believe that, but i'm going to tellcaptioning sponsory comedy central >> stephen: tonight the fcc rules about whether i can talk about my pac on the air. spoilary all right, i'm talking about my pac on the air. then, can we trust pakistan to find out i'll close my eyes and fall into their arms. (laughter) >> stephen: and my guest timothy garton ash believes reporting the facts...
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he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the 2008 election. they were not so helpful last time. jonathan, look at this, 2008, 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that hefty portion helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66-32%. gaby giffords was on that twitter, and e-mail. that's how they communicate now, and now how they get news but get information from friends and relatives and everything else. he's going to voters to where they live. this is new in that sense and also old in a very important way. every president has tried to go around the filter, as president bush liked to call it, go around the filter of the mainstream media. bill clinton did it by going on hall and king, george w. bush did it by talking to regional reporters oftentimes, new president obama is doing it himself by going to facebook, by doing a twitter town hall. this is a way of avoiding, you
he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the 2008 election. they were not so helpful last time. jonathan, look at this, 2008, 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that hefty portion helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66-32%. gaby giffords was on that twitter, and e-mail....
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. >>> and jon stewart has to bring in an expert to help him pray the gay jokes away. naturals from purina cat chow. delicious, real ingredients with no artificial flavors or preservatives. naturals from purina cat chow. share a better life. [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brushing their teeth. so how did only one get gingivitis? well, one in two people do. so i told karen about new crest pro-health clinical gum protection toothpaste. it helps eliminate plaque at the gumline, helping prevent gingivitis. it's even clinically proven to help reverse it in just 4 weeks. and it protects these other areas dentists check most. looks like the twins are even again. new crest pro-health clinical toothpaste. life opens up when you do. >>> so the whitey bulger case is a federal case. so there's one guy who is hoping for a federal government shutdown so they can't bring him to trial and the prosecutors don't get paid. >>> still to come tonight, senator ted kennedy's campaign team from 1994 found a way to stop mitt romney co
. >>> and jon stewart has to bring in an expert to help him pray the gay jokes away. naturals from purina cat chow. delicious, real ingredients with no artificial flavors or preservatives. naturals from purina cat chow. share a better life. [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brushing their teeth. so how did only one get gingivitis? well, one in two people do. so i told karen about new crest pro-health clinical gum protection...
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Jul 6, 2011
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he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the 2008 election. they were not so helpful last time. jonathan, look at this, 2008, 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that and 29. that helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66 to 32% for mccain. in 2010, 12% of the voters were between 18 and 29, so they didn't lift their end and voted for democrats 55-42. narrow vote considering 2008, zwr jonathan, they didn't show up, but the big challenge is to get those numbers jacked up again to 2012 where you can have at least the same participation, will twitter help? >> of course, it will. this is where a lot of young voters get their news and information. they don't go to the driveway and get their morning paper, they are on their blackberrys, iphones, laptops, facebook, twitter, and e-mail. that's how they communicate now, and now how they get news but get information from fri
he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the 2008 election. they were not so helpful last time. jonathan, look at this, 2008, 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that and 29. that helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66 to 32% for mccain. in 2010, 12% of the voters were between...
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. >>> coming up, jon stewart cannot help himself. he cannot control his deep desire to make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. you'll have that latest in the show. don't miss it. >>> and later, when republican house leader eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him and the political media has also forgotten it, too. but i'll be reminding him and the political media of the day eric cantor voted to raise income taxes. that's in my "rewrite" tonight. 50 billion network devices will roam the earth. that's seven devices per person. this will change how we work in ways we've never before imagined. what do you need to secure your people, their devices, and your business? a network that can evolve and grow to protect your human network. ♪ [ male announcer ] the davis twins... ...are alike in nearly every way... ...right down to brush
. >>> coming up, jon stewart cannot help himself. he cannot control his deep desire to make gay jokes about michele bachmann's husband. so he needs a therapist to help him pray away the gay jokes. that therapist is jerry seinfeld. you'll have that latest in the show. don't miss it. >>> and later, when republican house leader eric cantor says he will never vote for a tax increase of any kind, he is forgetting one little thing about his own record on taxes. luckily for him and...
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he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the the last election. >> in the 2008 election. >> yes. >> they were not so helpful last time. i want jonathan to get in on this. 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that hefty portion helped get this guy elected. they voted for president obama 66-32% for mccain. in 2010, different story, both in the percentage of voters. just 12% were between 18 and 29. they didn't really lift their end. they voted for democrats 55-42. very narrow vote relatively speaking compared to 2008, jonathan. they didn't really show up. which doesn't surprise me. it's not a presidential year. but they need to get those numbers jacked up again where you have at least the same participation. will twitter help? >> of course it will. this is the way a lot of young voters get their news and information. they don't go the drive way and day and grab the morning paper. they are
he did "the daily show with jon stewart" bakley he has mark zuckerberg on call. twitter is another reiteration, and obama knows that the youth live there. for 2012, the youth were a critical vote in the last election. >> the the last election. >> in the 2008 election. >> yes. >> they were not so helpful last time. i want jonathan to get in on this. 18% of voters were between 18 and 29. that hefty portion helped get this guy elected. they voted for president...
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perfect time to roll out my new jon stewart brand speedos. >> if more states legalize gay marriage, god will destroy america. yeah, and then god will rebuild america into the greatest dance club the world has ever known. >> finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to get married. oh. really? the nuptials are in stanford. hmm. >> anybody here for the gay pride parade yesterday? i went dressed as michele bachmann. >> michele bachmann said her home town of waterloo, iowa is the birthplace of john wayne when actually it's the birthplace of john wayne gacy. >> i think there is something to that. like gacy, people might think you're a clown if they dig a little deeper, they'll find that you are deadly serious. when you stumble on facts, don't get back into a corner. you double down. you say not only do you have the spirit of john wayne gacy, you've got the eyes of a young charles manson. >> john quincy adams most center was a part revolutionary war era. he was a young boy, but he was actively involved. >>
perfect time to roll out my new jon stewart brand speedos. >> if more states legalize gay marriage, god will destroy america. yeah, and then god will rebuild america into the greatest dance club the world has ever known. >> finally, new york state's gay and lesbian community are free from the burden that was having to set foot in connecticut in order to get married. oh. really? the nuptials are in stanford. hmm. >> anybody here for the gay pride parade yesterday? i went...
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stewart was celebrated for using the d word to attack the then--ost of a cnn show called "crossfire."you know what's interesting, you're as big a bleep on our show as you are on any show.it turns out mark of years ago for saying that jon edwards "thinks obama is kind of a..."p-word that means d-word as well, the website gawker reports that "halpeein has called obama both types of genitalia." hey gentle as you look for the d- spot...disconnect.one button twoobutton 3 button 4 jeanne moos, cnn,,ny. -----end-----cnn.script coming up in ur 8 o'clock hour.. 3&grilling out the july fourth holiday and need tooamp p your recipes..the secret could áphoneá you're watching fox 45 morning news.. all local.. all morning. how to get out.""ididn't go into it thinking i'm going to become a coke-head, i didn't go into it thinking i'm going to be addicted to crack, o or i'm going to have a problem with marijuana or drinking, i just... but when i looked up it had gotten the best of me." "you know, i was so far into my mess, that i didn't think i was worthy to... for god to even come in." now on fox45
stewart was celebrated for using the d word to attack the then--ost of a cnn show called "crossfire."you know what's interesting, you're as big a bleep on our show as you are on any show.it turns out mark of years ago for saying that jon edwards "thinks obama is kind of a..."p-word that means d-word as well, the website gawker reports that "halpeein has called obama both types of genitalia." hey gentle as you look for the d- spot...disconnect.one button twoobutton...
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like jon stewart was saying. the president has gone way outside anyone's comfort zone with med zaide, medicare and social security and dropping revenues which is a serious mistake. be that as it may, he's the most serious person at that table, in terms of trying to avoid a default, and i still think we will avoid it. i think at the end of the day, that will -- that saner minds prevail, but every minute i get more nervous and every minute we talk about this we're not talking about jobs and the economy. the cost of this debate of legion in my view. >> jimmy williams. one person is controlling the agenda of the united states of america right now and his name is grover norquist. grover norquist was nude gingrich's butt buddy. jack abra hof's buddy. charged peoples 25ds,000 a pop to go to a bush white house signing ceremony. he is a petty crim kninal and m just about every single member of the house of republicans, on the republican side, not the tea party, and almost all republican. s signing a pledge saying they wil
like jon stewart was saying. the president has gone way outside anyone's comfort zone with med zaide, medicare and social security and dropping revenues which is a serious mistake. be that as it may, he's the most serious person at that table, in terms of trying to avoid a default, and i still think we will avoid it. i think at the end of the day, that will -- that saner minds prevail, but every minute i get more nervous and every minute we talk about this we're not talking about jobs and the...
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it's kind of funny, what jon stewart said. >> he is funny. what's your point? >> it's kind of not funny, too. seriously. >> it's fascinating. are you doing the reporting? >> i have been. writing a series of web pieces. this is just an epic story. the amount of headlines every day coming out of this story. this, on a normal day would be, you know, a month long story. every headline would have a long shelf life. yet, they keep coming. to me, the next step is what does this mean for the future of news corp. and rupert murdock. who is going to step in if there's a management takeover. >> you talked in your last piece that i read how this seems counter intuitive but it's good for roger ayles. >> for once, all the critics are not talking about fox. fox is not involved in this, as far as we know in the hacking saga. it's a legitimate business. what's going on with murdock's tabloid has nothing to do with fox news. >> explain how his enemy's within his family and news corp. are going up in flames now. that leaves ayles stronger. >> that's been roger's thing the whole t
it's kind of funny, what jon stewart said. >> he is funny. what's your point? >> it's kind of not funny, too. seriously. >> it's fascinating. are you doing the reporting? >> i have been. writing a series of web pieces. this is just an epic story. the amount of headlines every day coming out of this story. this, on a normal day would be, you know, a month long story. every headline would have a long shelf life. yet, they keep coming. to me, the next step is what does this...
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. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrative which is that we're living through the fourth world war, that world history for the next 20, 30 years will is all going to be about the battle with islamist terrorism t doesn't seem to be quite like that any more. >> stephen: what is the battle? where is the fourth world war? >> i'm not sure. let's hope there isn't the fourth world war but what i do think, i have an account in this book of a very extraordinary meeting with george w bush in the early summer of 2001. don't look like that. >> stephen: hi an extraordinary meeting with him too once. but go ahead. >> i want to hear about that. >> stephen: yes. >> bu
. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrative which is that we're living...
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. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrati
. >> stephen: jon stewart. (laughter) he's really funny. he's really funny. let me ask you, political writing from a decade without a name this past decade, you mean. >> it's a weird decade which in a way begins with 9/11 and i think ends on the fourth of november 2008 when barack obama was elected president. and i think the very different agenda comes because obama's election comes with a financial and economic crisis. and suddenly that whole narrati
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jon stewart. we have a very good show tonight. our guest tonight, neil patrick her is. (cheers and applause) now as you know many of our viewers live in the northern hemisphere. (laughter) i dot longitudes and latitudes but i really don't-- (laughter) an experienced-- (laughter) a lot of map lovers in the audience. anyway, in the hemisphere has experienced in the past week a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called labs, falaro where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it it but where we humans saw hardship, tv weather news people saw hot-pertunity. >> we just took this justy t bone out of the fri see if we can cook it on the dashboard of a car. >> you can really cook eggs on a street, bake cookies on a dashboard. >> the mac and cheese have cooked. >> i will taste the pizza. >> the pizza is actually fully cooked. it is not global warning, it is god preheating america. (laughter) by the way, this guy may be eat pizza straight off the sidewalk, but at least he didn
jon stewart. we have a very good show tonight. our guest tonight, neil patrick her is. (cheers and applause) now as you know many of our viewers live in the northern hemisphere. (laughter) i dot longitudes and latitudes but i really don't-- (laughter) an experienced-- (laughter) a lot of map lovers in the audience. anyway, in the hemisphere has experienced in the past week a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called labs, falaro where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then...
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here is jon stewart with your morning punch line. >> they need strength. they will need agility, they will need luck, but mostly to survive, they will need money. >> gingrich, $2 million, rick santorum not so much, half a million dollars. >> $500,000 in the work chest. bye-bye. >> what about that old silver back, newt gingrich? by the way, he stopped shaving his back when he left congress. >> i wonder how "the daily show" will depict pawlenty's demise? if a pawlenty campaign falls in the woods, does it make a sound? >> herman cain raised $2 million. that's a lot of pepperoni for the godfather of pepperoni pizza. there's one candidate who seems to be gaining strength. michele bachmann. >> michele bachmann's migraines and whether this should be considered a campaign issue. >> got to say, of all my issues with bachmann's brain. >> $18 million raised. mitt romney is the king of the jungle, the thick maned, super predator of the race, the republican's aslund. >>> time for your political ticker with tim farley live from washington. 11 days and counting until the
here is jon stewart with your morning punch line. >> they need strength. they will need agility, they will need luck, but mostly to survive, they will need money. >> gingrich, $2 million, rick santorum not so much, half a million dollars. >> $500,000 in the work chest. bye-bye. >> what about that old silver back, newt gingrich? by the way, he stopped shaving his back when he left congress. >> i wonder how "the daily show" will depict pawlenty's demise? if...
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. >> and finally, on this friday, let's end it with humor courtesy of jon stewart who offered the special take on a serious candidate tim pawlenty campaign. let's watch. >> well, let's see where governor tim pawlenty is. he has $4.5 million raised this quarter, but he struggles against the perception that he is -- former minnesota governor tim pawlenty kicked off three weeks of barnstorming in the anticipated fox straw poll with a warning that iowans should not waste their support on charismatic candidates who cannot win. >> ooh, tim pawlenty taking a bold stand against charisma. [ laughter ] hey, look, this is not a popularity contest. oh, it is? oh. >> will anyone in this field inspire the conservative voters or do we have the wait for someone like sarah palin or donald trum tp to have the charisma that jon stewart was f stewart. i think secondly, governor pawlenty has a point, we should be voting on records which means we shouldn't be voting for pawlenty. >> connie shorts on this hot friday. thank you very much. >> reporter: thank you. >>> now to the state of the american family and th
. >> and finally, on this friday, let's end it with humor courtesy of jon stewart who offered the special take on a serious candidate tim pawlenty campaign. let's watch. >> well, let's see where governor tim pawlenty is. he has $4.5 million raised this quarter, but he struggles against the perception that he is -- former minnesota governor tim pawlenty kicked off three weeks of barnstorming in the anticipated fox straw poll with a warning that iowans should not waste their support...
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until 11:30 to watch jon stewart, it comes up on this show. martha: we just wanted to provide you with what you missed. >> are i appreciate that, martha. but i will tell you right now, he's saying, hey, listen, call your congressman because they're acting unreasonable. he's saying, hey, we didn't send you there to hold the government hostage, we sent you there to solve a problem. the president put $4.7 billion on the table. john boehner's plan when the cbo scored it only cut -- martha: we've been talking about that at great length as well. let's give chris plant one last thought on this, and then we're going to go. >> i'm reminded of lbj saying when i've lost walter cronkite, i've lost middle america, and when barack obama loses jon stewart, he's lost his base. and when they laugh out loud at the suggestion that the commander in chief is telling people to burn up the phone lines, i've got to tell you, that's not a plan, chris -- >> chris, you know what? >> that's community organizer 101. hey, i know, call your congressman. martha: all right, g
until 11:30 to watch jon stewart, it comes up on this show. martha: we just wanted to provide you with what you missed. >> are i appreciate that, martha. but i will tell you right now, he's saying, hey, listen, call your congressman because they're acting unreasonable. he's saying, hey, we didn't send you there to hold the government hostage, we sent you there to solve a problem. the president put $4.7 billion on the table. john boehner's plan when the cbo scored it only cut -- martha:...
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clips from my time on comedy central thanks to jon stewart and stephen colbert coming up next. >>> but first, broke and bills piled high. many americans find themselves facing just that. when people in one wisconsin community are hit with hard times, they've got a unique safety net. he's this week's cnn hero, sal dimicelli the dear abby of the down and out. >> when i go through suburbia america or the small towns, everybody's trying to hold their head up with pride. >> you've been looking for work. >> okay. i know it's tough in a recession. >> i went and sold all my jewelry yesterday. >> these people behind closed doors they tell their neighbors they're fine. they'd sooner go in the house and starve. >> how much do you owe me right now? >> gas bill i owe about $800. >> i find the situation is getting worse. they need food. they need help with their utilities. i mean, this is 2011 in america? we should be helping each other. i'm sal dimiceli. my mission is to help americans who have fallen on hard times. in a week i'll receive 20 to 30 letter. me and my family do not want to become home
clips from my time on comedy central thanks to jon stewart and stephen colbert coming up next. >>> but first, broke and bills piled high. many americans find themselves facing just that. when people in one wisconsin community are hit with hard times, they've got a unique safety net. he's this week's cnn hero, sal dimicelli the dear abby of the down and out. >> when i go through suburbia america or the small towns, everybody's trying to hold their head up with pride. >>...
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well wouldn't you know it, jon stewart and "the daily show" took notice of mr. rossen's report. >> it is experienced over the past week, a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la solaro. it's weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it -- haaaaaaaa. but where we humans saw hardship tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you really cook eggs on a street. baked cookies on a dashboard. the pizza is actually fully cooked. >> this guy may be eating pizza straight off the sidewalk. but at least he didn't use a [ bleep ] fork when he ate it. as long as i live, as long as i live -- you don't eat, how dare you disrespect me. you son of a [ bleep ]. >> going back to the sort of psuedo de niro, i don't know what it is, but i like it. here it is, again, mr. trump, our good friend, donald j. trump, eating pizza with a fork. with sarah palin in may. we like dumb criminals here on "way too early" as you may have noticed. there's a liquor store down in pembroke, florida, that's been hit twice now by the same v
well wouldn't you know it, jon stewart and "the daily show" took notice of mr. rossen's report. >> it is experienced over the past week, a weather phenomenon of extreme heat called la solaro. it's weather phenomenon where the sun gets close enough to the earth to hug it. and then do this to it -- haaaaaaaa. but where we humans saw hardship tv weather news people saw hot-portunity. >> can you really cook eggs on a street. baked cookies on a dashboard. the pizza is actually...
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stewart for their news. so it kind of ties in. >> thanks for joining us. have a great 4th of july! >> coming up next the casey anthony murder trial is expected to go to the jury tomorrow. the judge alex ferrerar will give us what jurors will soon face. >>> i'd like to wish a happy 4th of july in north carolina and also tennessee. happy 4th of july! at bayer, we're re-inventing aspirin for pain relief. with new extra-strength bayer advanc aspirin. it has microparticles, enters the bloodstream faster and rushes relief to the site of pain. it's clinically proven to relieve pain ice as fast. new bayer advanced aspirin. the motorola expert from sprint. its powerful tools help you work faster and smarter so you can get back to playing "angry birds." it lets you access business forms on the go, fire off e-mails with the qwerty keypad, and work securely around the world so you can get back to playing "angry birds." it's the android-powered phone that mixes business with pleasure. so let's get our work done, america,
stewart for their news. so it kind of ties in. >> thanks for joining us. have a great 4th of july! >> coming up next the casey anthony murder trial is expected to go to the jury tomorrow. the judge alex ferrerar will give us what jurors will soon face. >>> i'd like to wish a happy 4th of july in north carolina and also tennessee. happy 4th of july! at bayer, we're re-inventing aspirin for pain relief. with new extra-strength bayer advanc aspirin. it has microparticles,...
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stewart. you know i think i may have isolated the republicans problem it's not that republicans have too few candidates is that the candidates they do have are doppelganger they have the handsome middle aged mormon twins. they have the american history challenged this. they have conservative firebrands from georgia and of course a pair of oak trees. only one of them can be the nominee and aside from plenty i think they've all got a pretty decent shot he forgot someone though he's got a pair of someones though actually the libertarian. anime's of the establishment running in the republican party i don't know how else to put it jake deliberate and joins us now for his take on the republican primaries it's fake you know fake. a little disappointed with story here no well no i said obvious other pair of twins well i don't know it's more disappointing stewards of black reporting around poll or well months this was drugs as as drugs but that's beside the point but you know like i'm so sick and tired
stewart. you know i think i may have isolated the republicans problem it's not that republicans have too few candidates is that the candidates they do have are doppelganger they have the handsome middle aged mormon twins. they have the american history challenged this. they have conservative firebrands from georgia and of course a pair of oak trees. only one of them can be the nominee and aside from plenty i think they've all got a pretty decent shot he forgot someone though he's got a pair of...
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. >>> jon stewart, the comedian tales news corp. to task last night. it's not just the comedians having their way today british prime minister david cameron, the man at 10 downing tepid before placement, facing both cheers and jeers for his apparent vulnerability. >> as for answering questions, i don't think i could have given clearer answers. records of the information commissioner ignored. reports of the select committee ignored. the failure of the police investigation ignored. the problem is for both our main parties. the problem is one that the public expects us to stop playing with, but rise to the occasion and deal with it for the good of the country. >> we talk so much about the unholy alliance of business in government, but now we're eyeballs deep into the unholy alliance with media and government the prime minister in england say helling 'committed to cleaning up corruption, but are words like that enough to calm a still growing scandal that threatens to topple rupert murdoch's empire and betrays the very trust of the people in england and rai
. >>> jon stewart, the comedian tales news corp. to task last night. it's not just the comedians having their way today british prime minister david cameron, the man at 10 downing tepid before placement, facing both cheers and jeers for his apparent vulnerability. >> as for answering questions, i don't think i could have given clearer answers. records of the information commissioner ignored. reports of the select committee ignored. the failure of the police investigation ignored....
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. >> before we go, we'd like to share jon stewart's moment of zen from yesterday. take a listen. >> here it is, your moment of zen. >> stick around, we've got a lot more for you on "the five" right after this. ♪ ♪ >> are you trying to raise the debt ceiling? >> we appreciate it. let's give me one back. >> ♪ it's fun to stay at the ymca ♪ it's fun to stay at t
. >> before we go, we'd like to share jon stewart's moment of zen from yesterday. take a listen. >> here it is, your moment of zen. >> stick around, we've got a lot more for you on "the five" right after this. ♪ ♪ >> are you trying to raise the debt ceiling? >> we appreciate it. let's give me one back. >> ♪ it's fun to stay at the ymca ♪ it's fun to stay at t
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. >> and jon stewart had a few choice words to say about me to, too. >> he did not know you. they had a good sense of humor. at least it appears. and you did too. >> more of don lemon uninterrupted in just a few minutes from now, more of the newsroom. >> see ya. more energy for 18 holes with your buddies. more passion for the one ya love. more fun with your family and friends. it could be a treatable condition called low testosterone or low t. come on, stop living in the shadows. you've got a life to live. [ male announcer ] so don't blame it on aging. talk to your doctor and go to isitlowt.com to find out more.
. >> and jon stewart had a few choice words to say about me to, too. >> he did not know you. they had a good sense of humor. at least it appears. and you did too. >> more of don lemon uninterrupted in just a few minutes from now, more of the newsroom. >> see ya. more energy for 18 holes with your buddies. more passion for the one ya love. more fun with your family and friends. it could be a treatable condition called low testosterone or low t. come on, stop living in the...